Twinless Twins, Surviving Co-multiple(s), Lone Twin, all of these terms have been used to describe a co-multiple(s) who has survived his or her multiple birth sibling(s). The death of a co-multiple might have occurred in utero, been a stillbirth, occurred in early infancy, through an accident, murder, suicide, illness or natural causes. The effect on the survivor(s) has only recently been researched and acknowledgement made that this type of loss may be more difficult for the survivor, regardless of the age the loss occurred, than was previously thought.  Some survivors call their loss (as it occurred later in life) ‘worse than losing a spouse.’  If one thinks about it, co-multiples have been together since conception and share a unique bond and lifestyle journey that majority of us do not. Changing "we" into "I" is not an easy transition and the first shared birthday alone, for example, can be extremely difficult.  For surviving co-multiples who look a lot alike, looking in the mirror can be emotional as they are reminded of their deceased co-multiple or get mixed up as to who is really looking back at them, a challenge the majority of us do not have to face.   It is important to not only recognize that this loss is unique, but that it also requires unique skills on the part of the professional for supporting and assisting survivors.

From time to time, I am approached by surviving co-multiples who would like to connect with other survivors.  If this is you, send me an e-mail at haddon@istar.ca   Please include your age, age at loss, type of loss (e.g. illness, accident, stillborn, etc.) , whether you are male/female and gender of that of your co-multiple(s).  I will do my best to find a connection for you.

If you are a multiple birth survivor and would like to share your story, please send me an email and let me know about how your loss has affected you.  By sharing your story, it may be possible to help other surviving co-multiples with their grief journey. Please accept my sincerest condolences on your loss.