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Multiples in School
Reader's Questions and Answers: |
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NOTE: Answers provided are of a general nature only and in no way reflect a medical opinion or diagnosis. If you are in doubt about any aspect of your pregnancy, please consult your physician immediately.
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Feedback:
September, 2007
I am a father of twin boys who have just gone into 1st grade. The school has seen fit to separate them this year and I feel that it is harming them both. They have been getting in trouble at school, and when they are home, they are extremly hyper, and also on the school bus, as after less than two weeks, the bus driver has already given them assigned seats. Their Mother and I have requested many times that they be placed in the same classroom, and have been denied. Have I got any legal standing here, and if so, how can I use it. If you can help us, I would greatly appreciate it. Dan Bode
From Lynda:
Dan, you don't say where you live, but both Multiple Births Canada (MBC) and National Organization of Mothers of Multiples Club (NOMOTC) in the US agree that multiples need to be placed together in the early grades in some instances. MBC has created a Multiples in School Kit outlining why they should be together and everything comes in dupllcate so that you can leave one set with the school when you meet with them. It can be ordered from their Business Office at office@multiplebirthscanada.org or by calling their Toll Free Number in Canada at 1-866-429-9809. It is a shame that the school won't work with you and in truth, they need to. It isn't fair that with all of the "news" kids have facing school for the first time, that multiples also are forced to be separated from each other and have that trauma as well to deal with. It is not a good start to a long school life. Of course they can act out. I am copying MBC on this note so that they are aware of your needs.
If there is anything else I can do, please let me know. If you are in the US, NOMOTC can be reached at www.nomotc.org
Feedback:
August, 2005
I am a mother of twin boys who will be entering Kindergarten this Fall. The principal will not allow twins to be together. The problem is that I want them together and I also teach in that school. I see a potential problem with one of the boys being separated. Do you know of any websites that I can get information that I can bring to the principal to support our wishes in case there may be some problems. I want to arm myself with information. It may not be needed but I want to be informed. Thank You Amy
From Lynda:
Hi Thank you for your question. One of the things that I find most disconcerting about the additional issues multiples are forced to face when they begin school is the fact that in addition to issues singletons face: new environment, noise levels, new faces, new structures, new rules and regulations, keeping quiet, leaving home, leaving Mom, multiples must often also face separation from each other. Not always easy (or necessary???). Multiple Births Canada has a Multiples in School Support Kit, with two of everything included in it: one for the parents, and one for the school. I recommend for you to contact them and order the Kit. I think it is $25.00 Cdn. + S&H. You can order it from their Web Site at www.multiplebirthscanada.org or through their Business Office at office@multiplebirthscanada.org You want to be as informed as possible when you meet with the principal and this Kit will give you a good start. Look at this as educating the principal and your school system about multiples. This is a great opportunity to make a difference, not only for your own children but also for other multiples.
It is important that decisions regarding placement of multiples in school be made TOGETHER with the principal, the parents and probably the childrens' teacher, EACH YEAR. You know your children best and what they need and require. While, on the surface the desire to separate multiples in order that they each have the best chance of being themselves and not having 'to compete' with each other may seem ideal, there are many other issues involved, including the one I mentioned above. In some cases, that additional challenge can be a negative and damaging factor and seeing as they are only 5 and beginning school, they have lots of other times when they can be separated effectively and to everyone's benefit. Within the class setting, siblings can also be encouraged to do things separately, such as different tasks, groups or areas of the room. The teacher can preface this by saying, "brothers and sisters aren't allowed to sit together during the different sessions." But visually the children can still see each other and there are times when they can be physically together in the classroom. This helps them in transgressing to getting along without each other.
There is also an Australian web site focusing on multiples in school issues at www.twinsandmultiples.org I think you will find this Site helpful as well.
If you need more resources, do let me know. I guess you can tell I feel very strongly that each family is different and the decision to separate or together needs to be a combined decision so that each child will not be traumatized and learn to hate school. There is still plenty of time for them to separate.
Good luck and have fun educating your school about another unique challenge faced by multiples.
Lynda
Feedback:
Is it a good idea to put all three triplets in different classrooms and advance the one to a class higher if she is smarter then the other two? Will this affect the other two children?
From Lynda:
Hello, I have referred your question to our Multiples in School expert, Pat Preedy, and here is her reply. You can get further information from her Web Site, which is listed within the article Multiples in School on my Web Site. I hope this information is helpful.
From Pat Preedy:
Each child needs to be assessed as an individual. This includes against the model.....they may need to be together at first just like twins, to give each other support. The process of becoming individuals begins right from the start [at home] and should not be left [to begin the separation process] to school. If there are only one or two classes, it is probably best to put them together rather than decide which one to split. The educational needs of each child should then be met ...I would not recomend advancing beyond the age group...
Regards,
Pat
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