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| Good Grief, They are Ready to Drive!!! |
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Well, it's happened. The kids have reached the legal age to drive. Not only does a parent's heart pound at the prospect of a driving-aged child, but with multiples, when will you ever get to drive the car?
I held my breath when the kids reached legal driving age (Aged 16 years where we live). One of the twins was so anxious to drive and phoned and booked her own driving lessons on their 16th Birthday. She wasn't waiting one second longer than she had to. Her sister was a little more laid back and no doubt could have waited longer, as she wasn't in such a hurry to drive. With her twin sister taking the initiative and making the appointments though, she felt pressured to begin taking lessons or be left behind.
I found that encouraging the girls to do their own ground work was helpful as they got see and judge firsthand what was involved and to compare driving schools in order to decide which one was best. It isn't a bad thing to let them begin the ground work and then have a family discussion to work out the details. Here are some thoughts for your consideration as your multiples reach driving age.
- Encourage the kids to call several driving schools. Check out costs, of course, how many hours of the course is classroom time, how many hours is driving and under what weather conditions. For example: snow, rain, ice, sunny days, highway driving, city driving, parking, backing up. They can make a chart rating each driving school. NOTE: Driving Schools are not all created equal, so doing the homework is important. You might have them ask their friends which one they used and how they felt about it.
- When you have all decided which school best meets your needs, you may wish to check out the Driving School's credentials. The Better Business Bureau is a good place to begin. You may even ask the School to provide details of their success rates.
- As mentioned above, it may be that one or more of your multiples may not wish to begin driving at the same time. Keep the lines of communication open in this regard as things could heat up with the one wishing to drive pressuring the other(s) to also drive as s/he wants company or companionship. Encourage each child to progress at their own speed, maturity and readiness levels. No name calling allowed.
- I remember I had the thought, "Oh gosh, what if one passes and the other doesn't?" I had a mental discussion with myself, and came to the conclusion, "don't go there. Wait until you have to deal with a success and failure before panicking." Good thing I did, both passed the first time around. Whew! If yours don't, consider sitting down with both (all)the kids and talking it through. You don't want gloating, competitiveness or anyone's self-esteem to be in jeopardy. Stress each child's individual strengths and let's face it, nerves can take a toll.
- With two (or more) additional drivers in the family, it will be necessary to set down rules and guidelines for the car:
-absolutely no other friend may drive the family car. They are not covered by your insurance and a crash could result in death, injury and if you are sued as a result, perhaps the loss of your home. The children need to be clear on your position in this;
-no more people in the car than there are seat belts and everyone has to use them, including the driver;
-no driving while drinking, not even one beer! The importance of this rule cannot be stressed enough. Be clear about the consequences: we will take away your license, if the police don't do it first;
-if the tank is near empty, let me know before I take it out and get stranded somewhere or need to take extra time to fill it up before going to my appointment;
-you may want to discuss with your children if they will need to chip in to pay for gas. Each family will no doubt feel differently about who pays for gas, especially if things are tight financially;
-We told our kids (the twins and their elder sister) that we wouldn't pay for any parking or speeding tickets. You get 'em, you pay for 'em! We've stuck to our guns and they know it.
- To help your kids get some driving practice, get them to drive you on errands. In Ontario they initially need a licensed driver with them in the front seat and this is good way for them to get some supervised practice.
- For the first six months, until they get better skilled, consider limiting recreational driving. For example: no driving from 9:30p.m. to 6:00a.m.
- When you are driving with them, keep calm, don't shout or call them names. Be encouraging, provide constructive feedback and don't compare their driving skills to each other! That's a recipe for disaster for everyone.
- Important tip: Car keys must be returned to one central location when you are finished with the car. Nothing worse than searching high and low for car keys which might be in a child's school back pack or coat pocket (but which child?) and you've got an appointment to keep!
- The car belongs to the parents. When a child wants the car, they need to ask each and every time for permission to use it. A license to drive doesn't mean the car is at their disposal each time they get the whim to drive.
- A license to drive is an honour and privilege and not a teenaged right. There needs to be respect for everyone in the house, in the car and on the roads.
Consumer Reports magazine, Issue April, 2004 offers some "family friendly cars" for consideration for Teenage Drivers. They are included here for your information. PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH FOR THE CAR BEST SUITED FOR YOUR PERSONAL NEEDS AND FINANCIAL SITUATION.
Best for teenage drivers:
- Honda Accord (4-cyl.
- Subaru Forester (SUV)
Though pricier, the Volkswagen Passat (V6) is a good choice, too. Later models of these vehicles and of the Honda Civic and Toyota Camry are also worth considering.
We bought a Subaru Forester when our three girls started to drive. It is easy on gas, small and very easy to park, a 4 cylinder so speeding is difficult and handles very well.
Enjoy this time with your children as they begin another step towards independence and adulthood.
References:
Consumer Reports magazine, April, 2004 - www.consumerreports.org
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